THE TOUR

"Take some more tea," the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly.

"I've had nothing yet," Alice replied in an offended tone, "so I can't take more."

"You mean you can't take LESS," said the Hatter: "it's very easy to take MORE than nothing."

The episode (Qpid) so far: Vash, Picard's old flame from Risa, has arrived on the ship. When Beverly shows up for morning tea with Jean-Luc, there's Vash. All of this makes Picard quite uncomfortable. It doesn't make him feel any better when Vash asks Beverly to give her...

THE TOUR

The door slid closed and they were alone in the hallway. Beverly regretted agreeing to this. No reason for her to care if -- what was her name again? -- Vash was having tea with the captain. No reason for her to give up her free time to entertain someone else's guest. No reason she should be here now, smiling cattily and speaking charmingly.

She'd be cranky until she got her cup of tea.

"This area is crew quarters, mostly." She waved her hand vaguely.

"Are your quarters here too?" Vash's smile looked a lot like Beverly's felt. "They must be very comfortable, if Jean-Luc's are anything to go by."

"Very comfortable." Another smile from Beverly. Another smile from Vash.

"Can I see them?"

Not Beverly's first choice, but... "Certainly. Just down the hall here."

Inside, she watched Vash look around, touch a few knickknacks, turn her head to Beverly expectantly.

Beverly didn't need the tea that badly. "There's still a lot to see." She smiled. Vash smiled. Beverly hoped Vash's teeth hurt as much as her own did.

They went out. "I can show you sickbay and the holodeck, lots of things."

"I'd love to see the holodeck." Vash didn't smile this time; she ran her fingers through her hair instead. "Do you have any special programs?"

"One or two." Beverly caught herself about to shake her own hair out. "My favourite is -- well, that's not important."

"No, I want to see it. You can learn so much about a person from their holoprograms." Vash continued talking inside the turbolift. "This is a great ship, really, and I've been on quite a few. Some so small, we had to schedule who could move when." She laughed. Beverly did too, a little. "And what kind of sports facilities do you have? What about shopping? And I could use a good haircut."

Beverly leaned against the wall of the lift, trying to keep her eyes focused. Maybe she could take Vash to Mott's and leave her there.

"And probably a new outfit for this conference -- stop the lift!"

The turbolift halted and Beverly straightened herself. "What's the matter?"

"I left my notes in Jean-Luc's quarters. Lift, go back to where we were."

They didn't move. Beverly gave the correct deck number and the lift started up again. "So, you're an archeologist?"

"Oh, well," Vash said. "I dabble."

At Picard's cabin, the chime went unanswered. Beverly didn't quite roll her eyes. "Computer, where is Captain Picard?"

"Captain Picard is on the bridge."

"Sorry, you'll have to get them later." Beverly smiled yet again.

"You mean it's locked? Is that a problem?"

"No, but..."

"Maybe we should go up to the bridge and talk to Jean-Luc."

Oh, that would be just great. "Never mind." Beverly opened the door. "Just get your things, okay?"

Once inside, Vash picked up a PADD and turned back to the door. Then she stopped. "You know, it's odd that Jean-Luc never mentioned me to you."

"Do you think so?" Crossing her arms, Beverly hoped for a call from sickbay.

"You seem to know him pretty well."

"Yes."

"Is there anything he *didn't* tell me about you?" Vash smiled again. Beverly did not. Vash walked a few steps around the table, set the PADD down again. "You're here for tea every morning. Sometimes you come from your quarters, sometimes you're already here, am I right?"

"That's a little presumptuous." Beverly stepped closer, wondering if she'd have to drag Vash out bodily.

"It's okay, honey, I don't mind. I'm just wondering how we compare, that's all." Vash stretched, arching her back a little. "I'll have to ask Jean-Luc -- who's kinkier? Who snores the loudest? Who's the better kisser?"

Oh, for heavens sake. "See for yourself," Beverly snapped. And kissed her.

It shut Vash up, as planned. What Beverly hadn't planned, though, was Vash's hands on her face and Vash's breasts pressed to hers and Vash's tongue in her mouth.

It was half a minute before Beverly pulled back.

"I can see why he likes you." One more smile from Vash, the most real looking yet. She put her hand on Beverly's shoulder. "Don't go yet." Vash leaned in for another kiss and Beverly didn't move away.

Far inside her brain, words were forming. She could barely make them out -- something like "what the *hell* am I doing?" But she wasn't paying much attention to them. Instead, she felt the warmth of the kiss, a small bump of teeth, Vash's hands stroking up and down her back, her own tongue sliding past past her lips, her own hands in Vash's hair. The scent of tea in the air.

The tea...it was significant somehow...more words in her brain. But the kisses were shorter now, sharper, and the hands on her back moved down to cup her buttocks, press her closer.

Vash was kissing her neck, nipping and nuzzling, and Beverly let her head fall back. She fit one hand between them, Vash's nipple hard against her palm, her own against the back. Vash made a throaty sound and Beverly realised just how aroused she was, the deep throb and itch, the burn just under her skin.

Then the words surfaced in her mind: they were still in Picard's cabin. She laughed. She should be panicked, but it just made her more excited. She tried to picture his face, opening the door and seeing them there, her hand on Vash's breast, Vash's hand, oh god, moving down inside her pants and moving and moving. Too soon, much too soon, she came, spasming hard and trying not to grimace.

A deep breath later, she did the same for Vash and felt the cry against her shoulder, the fingers gripping her arms.

Then they stepped back, shook and straightened themselves into some semblance of order. "If Jean-Luc isn't sleeping with you," Vash said, "he's a fool."

Beverly didn't respond. After a few seconds, she went over to the table and touched the side of the teapot. "Tea's still hot."

So they had a cup.