Title: Funky Hot Deanna (filk)
Author: longbeachtrekstar ( longbeachtrekstar@yahoo.com )
Series: TNG
Code: T/C/Y/Ro (and one m with blueballs)
Rating: NC-17 (barely)
Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek. The original song is by Tone-Loc. I'm just writing this for fun, not making any profit, and not trading songs over the internet.
Archiving: FFF, ASCEM, others please ask.
Feedback: Yes please, here or by email.
Note: Based on Tone-Loc's "Funky Cold Medina" (1988).
Written for Round XII of the Femme Fuh-q Fest -- http://www.svpress.us/femmefuhqfest/
by longbeachtrekstar, September 2003
Cruisin' in Ten Forward, lookin' for a little action
But like my friend Jean-Luc, I can't get no satisfaction
Guinan gives me daiquiris of strawberry and banana
But I think I'll be good to go with funky hot Deanna
She knows my every thought and can sense all my emotions
I want to lay her down and make some horizontal motions
"Wherefore art thou, Counselor?" I make like I'm a thespian
But the way she fawns, it slowly dawns, Deanna is a lesbian!
Funky Hot Deanna
In walks this red-haired hottie, a little older but still firm
I thought she might like to suck on some Tequila and my worm
I sit down next to her and ask "Does the carpet match the curtains?"
Her drink was gin but her smile was wry, and I knew that sex was certain
She said "I'm Doctor Beverly, don't you have a bad infection?"
I said "I'm right as rain, and you'll feel no pain, when I give you my injection"
She took her glass and walked away, what's wrong with my pick-up rap?
Then she turned around and sat right down on hot Deanna's lap
(spoken)
Y'know what I'm saying?
She's got every babe in the ship rubbin' up against her
Tess Allenby from the bridge
Sonya Gomez from engineering
They won't leave that girl alone
I spy this tight young thing, with an ass that just won't quit
Her blonde hair was so Eighties that I knew she was legit
She was talkin' to this pale-skinned dude, oh no, she can't be serious
She should do it with a human guy, like me or James Tiberius
I said "So you want fully functional, and multiple techniques?
Well bend over 'cause I've got somethin' to stick between your cheeks
I'm better than a cold android, Tasha we could have such joy"
She said "You're right, my pussy's tight, but it belongs to Troi"
(spoken)
Okay, this Deanna chick is gettin' on my nerves
It's the 2380's, and I gotta get busy with the ladies
So I look around and then I spot a cool Bajoran chick
I realize I have finally found someone to suck my dick
I know she likes it missionary, doggie-style, and the like
She's fucked every guy on Enterprise, there no way that she's a dyke
So I sat down, and her bumpy nose soon got me to starin'
She smiled back and said something like "Hi, my name's Ro Laren"
I said "Level with me, do you want to lick Deanna's thighs?"
And Ensign Ro, that goddamned 'ho, said "Yes, 'cause I'm a bi"
(spoken)
Y'know what I'm saying
That Deanna's a monster, y'all
Funky Hot Deanna
(End)